Although I consider myself as a feminist, it still bothers me that sometimes I feel, like I´m the “manly” side inside my house – I can´t help it, ´cause when my husband acts like a hag, I have no other possibility than to be the man and take the blame. The way of our life has just turned out this way that he cooks and cleans. I quit cooking after I kept hurting myself during it (really, I couldn´t even make pasta without injuries) and I would like to tidy up (and in my mind I´m doing it), but the thing is that my CLEAN is not even near to his CLEAN. I can be very proud of the fact that everything is shining and then he discovers that I didn´t wash it under the bed.
Let´s take today, for example. I woke up at nine, ´cause he was muttering around (I usually sleep until noon, when ever I have a chance) and polishing everything, since his mum is coming to visit. And when I offered my help, he said:”No, you can sleep – you would be behind the computer aniway” with every pore of him yelling that I´m a lazy bitch (and not to mention the fact that in my mind I have been as helpful as I can and not sitting around doing nothing, when his busy – yes I have been behind computer, but THAT´S WHAT MAKES MONEY IN MY LIFE). And I honestly understand with all my heart, why men start swearing (as I did) and go out drinking (which I luckily didn´t), when they discover that they have married to someone like that. I mean, couldn´t he just say, what he´s really thinking? Why must I hear that shit and wonder what the hell does he want? And I must remark that otherwise he is a very “manly” man and this crazy talk appears only around domestic areas.
No, don´t get me wrong – it´s not about a wining man (and I don´t mean that women have every right to wine). I just don´t understand, why should ANYONE wine and say things that they don´t mean in the first place. Wouldn´t world be a much better place without that?